Oh, What A Day!

Did you ever have a day where you thought you were on Candid Camera? My whole night last night was that. It started at work when I was walking to the hospital gift shop to buy a ten cent package of lemon-heads (that's all the money I had on me). Our gift shop is all glass walls with a sliding glass door. I was minding my own business (walking a little too fast), turned the corner and ran right into the glass door. The lady who worked there had locked up to take a break. A break, who needs a break from working in a gift shop at a hospital?!! I hit the glass so hard I left a complete face print (glasses included) on the glass. I also injured my left knee and arm! I was so embarassed because everyone in the lobby saw and heard the loud banging! I started laughing and crying at the same time while wiping my nose prints off the door! How embarassing! All I could hear in my head was Paul laughing (even though he wasn't there)!
My whole department heard the noise and ran down to Public Safety to ask for the tape to send to Funniest Home Videos to win the $10,000 off of my making a *** of myself!

If that wasn't bad enough, when I got home from work, I was watching Oprah at nite, again minding my own business. I heard a loud truck sitting by our house, so I watched it. The truck barrelled around the corner and circled the park, again stopping across from our house. By now I was certain that they were up to no good.Again they pulled away, except after they left, not 3 seconds later a huge flash of light appeared and a huge shooting noise sounded. I thought they shot me thru my window. I crawl yelling into our room to which Paul said calmly "what was that?" He then proceeded to tell me that it was just a M-80 firecracker. I still don't know what it was, but I was up all nite playing Barney Fife to protect my neighborhood. I didn't sleep a wink.

Do these things only happen to me or what?!!